EXTENSION Short Story Contest - 3rd Honorable Mention
Lauren Swansick is a 9th Grade student at Central Catholic High School in Modesto, California. The inspiration for her short story is Hidden Hero Deacon Bob Leibrecht who does prison ministry in Texas.
Marion Full of Grace
by Lauren Swansick
She cried hard that day. It was the kind of cry that comes from stabbing pain that has no place to go except deeper inside. Her flushed, tear streaked face and hot red ears gave her away. She hardly noticed the soggy, wet tissues fall to the ground as she stood up when I called her name. Maybe she cried because the dreams she had been given, had been suddenly taken away. Maybe she cried because all the things she had accomplished were stolen in a moment by circumstances that left her feeling empty, alone and afraid because she had acted outside God's Law. "Marion" looked about sixteen and was in her final months of pregnancy. Little did I know she would become "my Marion" full of grace.
My arms ached to wrap around her and take her home like a long lost puppy. However, I was a trained "professional" now. At least a college degree, together with a Masters and four years of training at the Catholic Intervention Center for Unwed Teens said so. Yet, it had been my choice to transfer to the "front lines" in the prison system and minister to teenagers who desperately needed the love and understanding of the Catholic faith. This yearning had brought me to the de la Cerda Correctional Center for Youths in New York six months ago. In my own life I've always clung to my Catholic faith. Life experience had taught me that no situation is greater than God's love for His children. God loves us all unconditionally and I wanted Marion to know it too.
As Marion walked into my office, I gestured for her to sit down. She was visibly shaken and I could see her frail hands trembling against the cold, hard steel of the handcuffs. I remember my first day at de la Cerda like it was yesterday. The shrieking cries of the inmates, the stench of their crowded bodies and all those stares looking at me for answers. Oh, how I prayed that day. Gently God spoke to my heart and reminded me that my ministry at the detention center did not have to be perfect. Every word and action I spoke did not have to be outstanding or compelling. It was important just to know that I could bring my Catholic stewardship into those cold, hard walls through my own examples of love, empathy and forgiveness; using the gifts that God gave me to serve others.
With this understanding, I had the courage to work with unwed youths like Marion. Sitting across from me now, with her brown eyes fixed on the floor, Marion asked me if I was Catholic. I told her I was and she wanted me to send a message to God from her. Marion told me in a voice barely above a whisper that she wanted God to know she was sorry. When I asked her why she couldn't tell God herself, Marion responded that her mother said girls like "her" were a disgrace to the family, to God and had no future. Marion went on to say that one of the guards told her in no uncertain terms that life was over as she new it. With that said Marion held her head in her hands and sobbed. At that instant I jumped to my feet and held her; rocking her back and fourth for what seemed to be a very long time. This time it was me who whispered, "Jesus loves you Marion and He makes all things new again."
The very next day and the days to come Marion and I slowly built a relationship. As we talked it became apparent to me that although Marion grew up in a Catholic home, she felt isolated from the love of Jesus Christ. The Catholic Church Doctrine taught to her by her mother was that God's love was based on being good enough "and following Church law to the letter with no room for forgiveness. It concerned me that Marion was isolated from a disturbing lack of knowledge of God's power and infinite love .She truly held onto the belief that if her mother couldn't forgive her; how could God possibly forgive her? I assured Marion that forgiveness is possible and that one day soon, she would be able to forgive herself. Marion was far from convinced.
As Marion and I began our daily visits, we began studying the Bible together. I desperately wanted her to know that Jesus Christ loves her so much that he suffered and died on the cross so that her sins would be forgiven and she would have everlasting life with Him in heaven. One night at home, I prayed especially hard for to Marion's heart to be healed. The very next day she walked into my office, sat down and said "I am the light of the world. The person who believes in me will never live in darkness but will have eternal life". She had memorized John 7:12 to memory! Marion had not only recited it my heart but she truly believed it deep down in her soul. Together with the power of the Holy Spirit she had taken a huge step that day.
Marion and I continued to study the scripture together and discussed its meaning. During one of our long walks around the detention campus, Marion was particularly quiet. There was something on her mind and she finally asked," What does do with girls like me facing having a baby alone?" To begin with, I told her, pregnancy outside God's Law does not make Him love the mother any less. God's love is unconditional, eternal and forgiving. I reminded Marion no matter what, "God cannot disown us who are apart of Himself." What God does call these mothers to do is to return to Him and abide in His direction for their lives. Marion fell silent again trying to absorb every word. I could tell she was struggling with what it meant to abide in God's direction. We finished our walk and prayed the Hail Mary before I left to reflect on our conversation.
By this time, Marion was attending Mass daily in the small chapel on the grounds of the detention center. In addition, to talking with me, Marion was also meeting with Father Quinn; the young priest assigned to youth ministry part-time at the detention center. Marion was fond of Father Quinn as he never grew tired of her endless questions and her need for reassurance. He often said among young people their Catholic faith should be built on four corner stones of belief: 1.) God loves her unconditionally. 2.) Her sins are forgiven by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. 3.) Mary the Virgin Mother of God knows what she is going through. 4.) Jesus had a plan that he alone had for her life.
Day by day and prayer by prayer, the Holy Spirit was taking root in Marion's life. As a result, she had made the hardest decision of her life. Marion was putting her child up for adoption. Father Quinn gave me the news and I met Marion later that day to talk about her choice. Holding back tears, Marion told me she had been praying the Rosary daily and she asked the Blessed Mother to glorify the gift of life in her. She went on to say that she wanted a better life for her baby and most of all Marion wanted this new life to know the love of God in a way she didn't when she was growing up. However, I could see the pain of giving up her baby was tearing her apart. I told her that Mary the Virgin Mother of Jesus could identify with the sorrow of having to give a child up like so many teen mothers do for adoption. After all, Mary offered up her Son and gave Him over to the world. Marion replied she would find the strength and the confidence through the example of the Virgin Mary to do what was best for her baby. Marion had shown what it meant to return to God and abide in His direction. She and I held hands and prayed for God to find a loving, Catholic family to raise her baby.
The next time I would hold Marion's hand was 3 weeks later when she delivered a healthy, beautiful baby girl. When the time came for Marion to give her newborn over to the adoptive parents; she was very brave knowing that the promises of God would forever keep her safe. With tears flowing, Marion told me that she was ready to put her life back together.
My journey with Marion was a story of a young, terrified, pregnant teenager who found the healing power of God's grace. She discovered the Gospel is all about "turning around" and finding God's miracle during one of the most painful times in a young girl's life. Above all, the most important words a lonely, scared and confused teen can hear are the teachings of the Holy Spirit. Marion learned that the Gospel is not a series of yes this and no that. The Gospel is a series of yeses: yes to love, yes to mercy, yes to compassion and yes to forgiveness.
Yesterday I heard from the adoptive parents of Marion's baby. They told me the baby's name was Grace because they heard her birth mother was full of grace.